It was a bittersweet weekend. On Friday, my husband's friends organized a benefit golf outing in his name. The proceeds all go to the Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research. I love my husband's friends, and I love spending time with them. They are kind, considerate, good-hearted, and funny, much like John was. But it's also hard watching them live the lives John and I were supposed to live.

This was also our last good weekend a year ago. No longer can I say a year ago everything was wonderful; a year ago we were a complete family; a year ago we didn't know John was sick. This weekend I thought a lot about how a year ago our world was about to cave in around us.

Labels: Life