Friday, May 9, 2008
Making New Friends
I need some new friends. My old friends are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but they all live quite far away. I need some local friends, women I can get together with on the spur of the moment. It's so easy to make friends when we are children. What happens to us when we become adults?
Remember the episode of Seinfeld with Keith Hernandez? Jerry was worried about trying to hard or not trying enough. It was like starting a new romantic relationship. That episode was not far from the truth.
Last weekend I attended a birthday party for one of my son's classmates and there I met a group of women I would love to become friends with. First, we all had children the same age in common. But that wasn't all. Everyone was nice, funny and there was none of that "mommy" competition. Ugh. I hate that--and now as a single mom, it's pretty damn hard for me to compete.
I was entertained with stories like these:
One woman went into labor with her second child so quickly that she gave birth in her driveway in an ambulance. That's a quick summary. The way she told the story, I was splitting my sides.
Another went into labor and realized on the way to the hospital that the battery in her blackberry wasn't working. Everyone's phone number was programmed into it, so she had her husband stop at her office to get a new battery. Now that's prioritizing.
A third woman, the smartest woman in the world, did not read a single baby book while pregnant (I recommend this to anyone who is pregnant because those books scare the crap out of you) and had no idea what was going on when she was in labor.
These women were real. No one was wearing a stitch of make-up; we were all in "weekend attire" (which means we looked like slobs); and everyone admitted how great it was that the party was from 3:30-5:30 because now we didn't have to make dinner for our families. No one pretended to be Supermom.
Now--I just need to find a way to become their friend.
Remember the episode of Seinfeld with Keith Hernandez? Jerry was worried about trying to hard or not trying enough. It was like starting a new romantic relationship. That episode was not far from the truth.
Last weekend I attended a birthday party for one of my son's classmates and there I met a group of women I would love to become friends with. First, we all had children the same age in common. But that wasn't all. Everyone was nice, funny and there was none of that "mommy" competition. Ugh. I hate that--and now as a single mom, it's pretty damn hard for me to compete.
I was entertained with stories like these:
One woman went into labor with her second child so quickly that she gave birth in her driveway in an ambulance. That's a quick summary. The way she told the story, I was splitting my sides.
Another went into labor and realized on the way to the hospital that the battery in her blackberry wasn't working. Everyone's phone number was programmed into it, so she had her husband stop at her office to get a new battery. Now that's prioritizing.
A third woman, the smartest woman in the world, did not read a single baby book while pregnant (I recommend this to anyone who is pregnant because those books scare the crap out of you) and had no idea what was going on when she was in labor.
These women were real. No one was wearing a stitch of make-up; we were all in "weekend attire" (which means we looked like slobs); and everyone admitted how great it was that the party was from 3:30-5:30 because now we didn't have to make dinner for our families. No one pretended to be Supermom.
Now--I just need to find a way to become their friend.
Labels: Life
Aidan's Third Birthday
8 Comments:
At May 9, 2008 9:45 AM,
Stella said...
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At May 9, 2008 9:55 AM,
Sandi said...
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At May 9, 2008 10:12 AM,
Anonymous said...
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At May 9, 2008 11:45 AM,
Anonymous said...
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At May 9, 2008 12:12 PM,
Stella said...
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At May 9, 2008 1:10 PM,
Love Bites said...
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At May 9, 2008 9:15 PM,
Full-time Mumma said...
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At May 13, 2008 7:45 PM,
debangel said...
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I completely agree with everything you've said here. Why is it so hard to make friends? Especially as women. Why is hard to keep friendships?
My husband makes friends easily and he's a quiet guy, sort of. But why is it so easy for him?
I love my friends, but like you, they live far away! It's hard....
Ha! Here's a great example, Stella. You live in the town next to me and have children around the same age as me--And you're a also a teacher. We need to become friends.
I joined a meetup group when I had kids and I've been able to make plenty of friends. Take a look at that - I'm near you too in Northern NJ, I was a teacher before staying home with my two kids, who are both the same ages as yours (4 and 2). And we belonged to the same IVillage message board. Consider me your friend :-)
Sandi,
Those women should be so lucky to have you as a friend. If you enjoyed their company so much, host a "play date" or mommy and me get together with the same group of girls and I'm sure your friendships will develop.
Good Luck
Sandi,
We should definitely be friends! I actually wondered, briefly, if our kids were in the same day care but I don't think they are. I bet the kids would get along famously and I have a feeling we would, as well.
I went through this after my divorce, my ex-husband was my constant companion, and I had to create a new circle of friends to hang out with. it takes time. Just, when you find women you like, reach out to them, call them up, and actually make time to spend together. You'll find your group.
Now where exactly do you live? I need to meet these women...
You are so spot-on! Now, when I want to make friends with someone, I tend to bribe them with homemade lasagna and/or brownies.
So, who wants to be *my* friend??
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