On my way home from work the other day the song "Yesterday" came on the radio. I've never been a big Beatles fan (John was), but the words struck me. "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..." I've been thinking that a lot lately. This time last year we were happy. This time last year John was with us. This time last year we did this or that together.


I thought that a lot when John was sick, too. I remember vividly our "last good day" as I call it. He had a lot of back pain, but we thought it was something a little physical therapy would take care of. We took the kids to their swimming lessons and then went to Pennings Farm Market to buy the kids a swing set, play in their playground, feed the farm animals and have lunch. It's a great place for kids.


We had a great time, and when we got back home, Aidan asked Daddy to go to the pond with him. There's a large pond through the woods in our neighborhood that the two of them always used to go to. They would feed the fish in the pond, and last winter John bought Aidan ice skates so they could both skate on the pond. He had planned to take him fishing this past summer.


This was on May 18. Two days later, John would be in the emergency room. By the end of the month we would have his diagnosis. John never walked to the pond again. Aidan never asks to go.

Labels: Life