Last year at Christmastime, my husband, the kids, and I went to this outdoor German Christmas market. It was ok. Not something I would do again. But something happened there that I haven't forgotten. Ava and Aidan were in the double stroller all bundled up because it was cold out. As we were wheeling them past the vendors we passed a couple with their daughter. The girl was probably about 5 or 6 and severely disabled. I may not have noticed except for the fact that her mother kept staring at my Ava longingly. John noticed it, too. We discussed it later that day and talked about how lucky we were.

Little did we know that the cancer that would ravage and eventually kill my husband was most likely already in his body then. Little did we know that at the same time in a year he would no longer be with us. Little did we know how truly unlucky we were.

I know how that woman felt. When John was so sick, I would see other families living their lives and having fun--families with a Mommy and a Daddy and healthy children. You wonder why that isn't you. Why were you given this terrible lot instead? I'm sure that's what the woman at the market was wondering when she was looking at my beautiful Ava.

What I finally realize, and what I hope that woman realized, is that we don't truly know what is going on in someone else's life. It does no good to look with envy at what someone else has. How often have you been shocked to discover that the perfect family down the street is getting a divorce? That the perfect friend of your child is on drugs? That the straight A student has attempted suicide?

I think at some point in all our lives we are all tested; we are all given our crosses to bear. Some may get it worse than others, but instead of focusing on what I don't have, I choose to focus on what I do have--2 beautiful, healthy children, a wonderful supportive family, terrific friends, and compassionate co-workers.

Labels: Life