Thursday, July 2, 2009
Greed
I'm waiting for Joe Jackson so have his son's body stuffed and then take it on tour so that he can continue to make a buck off his fame.
Labels: WTF
Instincts
As a single parent I am often full of insecurities and fears about screwing up my kids. Let's face it, the statisitics for fatherless children are not pretty.
However, when I became pregnant with my first child, Aidan, born July 23, 2004, I had three gut instincts.
One, I like to cook and decided I was going to make all my children's baby food. I took great pleasure in hitting the farmers markets, selecting the fruits and vegetables, steaming and pureeing them and then freezing the food in ice cube trays for future use. I swear the effort paid off and that's why my children are such good eaters today.
Two, I was determined to put them in swimming lessons as soon as possible. I started them both at 6 months. Aidan is about to turn 5 and Ava is almost 3 1/2 and watching them swim this summer has been one of my greatest pleasures. Aidan spends most of the time underwater which is amazing considering he used to fight with me every week going to swim class because he didn't want to go underwater.
My third instinct pertained only to Aidan, since he was due in the summer. In NJ, the cut-off date to enter kindergarten is October 1. I knew I was going to hold this summer baby back and wait an extra year to send him to school. Of course I don't know how this will turn out yet, but I've been reading the book The Outliers by Malcom Gladwell. He dispels the myth that Outliers, people who are enormously successful--the Bill Gates of the world, got to where they are through intelligence and hard work. He points out that many, many other factors help create Outliers--one such factor being when you happened to be born. The book presents an excellent argument for the decision I have made about Aidan's education.
I can only hope my instinct continue to be correct as I raise my children alone.
However, when I became pregnant with my first child, Aidan, born July 23, 2004, I had three gut instincts.
One, I like to cook and decided I was going to make all my children's baby food. I took great pleasure in hitting the farmers markets, selecting the fruits and vegetables, steaming and pureeing them and then freezing the food in ice cube trays for future use. I swear the effort paid off and that's why my children are such good eaters today.
Two, I was determined to put them in swimming lessons as soon as possible. I started them both at 6 months. Aidan is about to turn 5 and Ava is almost 3 1/2 and watching them swim this summer has been one of my greatest pleasures. Aidan spends most of the time underwater which is amazing considering he used to fight with me every week going to swim class because he didn't want to go underwater.
My third instinct pertained only to Aidan, since he was due in the summer. In NJ, the cut-off date to enter kindergarten is October 1. I knew I was going to hold this summer baby back and wait an extra year to send him to school. Of course I don't know how this will turn out yet, but I've been reading the book The Outliers by Malcom Gladwell. He dispels the myth that Outliers, people who are enormously successful--the Bill Gates of the world, got to where they are through intelligence and hard work. He points out that many, many other factors help create Outliers--one such factor being when you happened to be born. The book presents an excellent argument for the decision I have made about Aidan's education.
I can only hope my instinct continue to be correct as I raise my children alone.
Labels: Children
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Cellulitis Update
I go back to the doctor tomorrow. It seems as if the antibiotics are working, so hopefully no hospital admittance. I have an appointment to get my hair cut and colored after I see the doctor and it's really hard to get an appointment unless you book it way in advance and I really need a cut and color.
So what if my priorities are completely fucked up. It's called DENIAL and it's a wonderful survival skill.
So what if my priorities are completely fucked up. It's called DENIAL and it's a wonderful survival skill.
Labels: Life
Monday, June 29, 2009
No Way
In another chapter of my life I like to to call THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKING WITH ME, I have a very nasty case of Cellulitis. Contrary to popular belief (or my belief) this has nothing to do with cellulite, which I have, but give me a break, I'm 41 and try to find a 41-year-old woman without a bit of cellulite on her thighs. No, cellulitis is a nasty-ass skin and tissue infection that apparently I contracted through some sort of spider or tick bite. I thought I had lyme disease despite the fact that I have a nasy red, hot, raised rash long my left armpit and back and a lymph gland swollen to the size of a watermelon, rather than the bulls-eye rash that's associate with lyme disease.
I am exhausted to the point where I would pay someone a million dollars to come and feed and bathe my kids, every muscle and bone in my body aches and I can barely function.
The good news is that if the oral antibiotics the doctor gave me don't work I get a one to two day vacation at Chez Hospital so I can pumped full of IV antibiotics.
Here was the kicker, though. As I sat with the doctor (and I dragged my son along because Ava was at daycamp and it was Aidan's "special day" with me today), the doctor told me that when I get home have "someone" trace the edges of my rash with a pen so that I can see if it gets worse.
I told him I have no one to do this for me. Husband's dead and I'm not sure how well a 3 and 5-year-old could trace the rash for me.
It's the little things that get me everytime. The doctor did it for me.
I am exhausted to the point where I would pay someone a million dollars to come and feed and bathe my kids, every muscle and bone in my body aches and I can barely function.
The good news is that if the oral antibiotics the doctor gave me don't work I get a one to two day vacation at Chez Hospital so I can pumped full of IV antibiotics.
Here was the kicker, though. As I sat with the doctor (and I dragged my son along because Ava was at daycamp and it was Aidan's "special day" with me today), the doctor told me that when I get home have "someone" trace the edges of my rash with a pen so that I can see if it gets worse.
I told him I have no one to do this for me. Husband's dead and I'm not sure how well a 3 and 5-year-old could trace the rash for me.
It's the little things that get me everytime. The doctor did it for me.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Bittersweet Memories
Today my mother invited us over for dinner. I don't know if she saw beyond my "act happy" masquerade or if she just missed the kids, but it was a mixed blessing.
On the way to my mother's I passed Waterloo Village--it's a park that I think has been closed by the state government due to lack of funds, but maybe not, I couldn't keep up with the controversy.
This is a roundabout story, but bear with me.
The last time I was at Waterloo Village was with Aidan, John, my brother and my then sister-in-law for a Family Fun Fair. It was August 2006. John and I had sent Aidan, who was 2 at the time, to spend the night at my brother's and Ava, who was 5 month old, to my mother's. We had a child-free weekend together. On the way to pick up Ava at my mother's, we all went to Waterloo Village. Aidan was running in the gravel parking lot and fell. He scraped himself up and I'll never forget how tender and comforting John was with him.
I loved that about him. I loved that I had to seriously talk him into letting the kids stay overnight somewhere else because he was so protective of them. I loved that child-free weekend we got to spend and the fact that for the first time in two years we could sleep in.
A year later John would be ravaged by the cancer that took over his body. He'd be wheelchair bound, in constant pain and have lost 60 lbs. He would be laying in a hospital bed dying.
On that August day, not in a million years would I have thought that's where we'd be in a year.
I am not sure I believe in the existence of God and I guess I'd better hope there isn't one because as I drove past Waterloo Village today in a cloud of tears I realized that if God exists, calling him a fucking bastard is probably not the way to get on His good side.
On the way to my mother's I passed Waterloo Village--it's a park that I think has been closed by the state government due to lack of funds, but maybe not, I couldn't keep up with the controversy.
This is a roundabout story, but bear with me.
The last time I was at Waterloo Village was with Aidan, John, my brother and my then sister-in-law for a Family Fun Fair. It was August 2006. John and I had sent Aidan, who was 2 at the time, to spend the night at my brother's and Ava, who was 5 month old, to my mother's. We had a child-free weekend together. On the way to pick up Ava at my mother's, we all went to Waterloo Village. Aidan was running in the gravel parking lot and fell. He scraped himself up and I'll never forget how tender and comforting John was with him.
I loved that about him. I loved that I had to seriously talk him into letting the kids stay overnight somewhere else because he was so protective of them. I loved that child-free weekend we got to spend and the fact that for the first time in two years we could sleep in.
A year later John would be ravaged by the cancer that took over his body. He'd be wheelchair bound, in constant pain and have lost 60 lbs. He would be laying in a hospital bed dying.
On that August day, not in a million years would I have thought that's where we'd be in a year.
I am not sure I believe in the existence of God and I guess I'd better hope there isn't one because as I drove past Waterloo Village today in a cloud of tears I realized that if God exists, calling him a fucking bastard is probably not the way to get on His good side.
Friday, June 26, 2009
This Week's News
What kind of a complete moron is the governor of South Carolina? Holy shit! I can't quite wrap my head around that one.
They say it comes in threes and this week proved it--Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcet and Michael Jackson all died.
Poor Farrah--not only did she die too young and horribly, but then that pedophile had to go and drop dead on the same day and take away from all the tributes she deserved.
I knew Lou Diamond Phillips was going to win that I'm a Celebrity show. I was kind of routing for my crush, John Salley to win, though.
On a personal note, I am now faced with a long summer, just the kids and me. Last year my mother stayed with me for half the summer while I recovered from my surgery. While I am more than happy that I am not recovering from surgery this summer, the lonliness is inescapable, especially in the evenings after I put the kids to bed. There's nothing I would like more than to sit outside on my deck with my dear sweet husband and enjoy the view from our backyard and a glass of wine. Sometimes I doubt the loss will ever get easier.
They say it comes in threes and this week proved it--Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcet and Michael Jackson all died.
Poor Farrah--not only did she die too young and horribly, but then that pedophile had to go and drop dead on the same day and take away from all the tributes she deserved.
I knew Lou Diamond Phillips was going to win that I'm a Celebrity show. I was kind of routing for my crush, John Salley to win, though.
On a personal note, I am now faced with a long summer, just the kids and me. Last year my mother stayed with me for half the summer while I recovered from my surgery. While I am more than happy that I am not recovering from surgery this summer, the lonliness is inescapable, especially in the evenings after I put the kids to bed. There's nothing I would like more than to sit outside on my deck with my dear sweet husband and enjoy the view from our backyard and a glass of wine. Sometimes I doubt the loss will ever get easier.
Labels: Life
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Baltimore
Fuck Jon and Kate! There I had to say it. I've never seen their stupid show, but for heaven's sake they have 8 children to think about. How fucking selfish are these two people?
Now, about me. The kids, my mom, and I went to Baltimore for Father's Day weekend. The only other time I've been there was for about 10 days on a business trip just before my father was diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember this because he was diagnosed the day I arrived home.
This was my first pleasure trip there and getting away for Father's Day was one of the best things I could have done for us. The kids didn't know what day it was and I forgot myself.
We had a wonderful time and despite the rainy weather here in NJ, we had great weather 200 miles south of home.
The aquarium was great, the Inner Harbor was beautiful and we even took the kids to Fort McHenry, where the Star Spangled Banner was written.
I spent the whole weekend eating crabs because when in Maryland, do as the Marylanders do.
Now, about me. The kids, my mom, and I went to Baltimore for Father's Day weekend. The only other time I've been there was for about 10 days on a business trip just before my father was diagnosed with brain cancer. I remember this because he was diagnosed the day I arrived home.
This was my first pleasure trip there and getting away for Father's Day was one of the best things I could have done for us. The kids didn't know what day it was and I forgot myself.
We had a wonderful time and despite the rainy weather here in NJ, we had great weather 200 miles south of home.
The aquarium was great, the Inner Harbor was beautiful and we even took the kids to Fort McHenry, where the Star Spangled Banner was written.
I spent the whole weekend eating crabs because when in Maryland, do as the Marylanders do.
Aidan's Third Birthday